Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Comedian GodfreyImage via Wikipedia


My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

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The more I know about men the more I like dogs.

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Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.

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Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.

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I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance -- a sharp, vindictive glance.

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Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.

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Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

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The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.

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On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.

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Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!

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Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.

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Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

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Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

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Man has will, but woman has her way.

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For everybody knows that it requires very little to satisfy the gentlemen, if a woman will only give her mind to it.

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If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

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If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.

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Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

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A man in the house is worth two in the street.

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Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.

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When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

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Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.

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I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

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Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I'll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.

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You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

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My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em.

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There's nineteen men livin' in my neighborhood eighteen of them are fools and the one ain't no doggone good.

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What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning, with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?

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Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men?

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Men are generally more law-abiding than women. Women have the feeling that since they didn't make the rules, the rules have nothing to do with them.

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Whether women are better than men I cannot say—but I can say they are certainly no worse.

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Always suspect any job men willingly vacate for women.

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A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

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Monday, October 12, 2009

How Much Money Can You Make For Driving Your Car?

Getting paid to drive your car is an excellent way to make some extra cash, just by driving your vehicle as you would normally do. Companies such as Coca Cola, Yahoo, Nikon, Fox Family, Kraft Foods, USA Network, Proctor & Gamble, TCF Bank, Papa Johns are willing to pay drivers in order to advertise their products or services on their cars.

Here are a few things you must now if you want to apply for this kind of job:

  • Owning a vehicle is not a necessary. Some of these companies give away free automobiles, already wrapped in advertisements. Of course if you take this option, you want be able to claim a monthly salary anymore and you will still have to pay for insurance and gas.
  • You need to be over 18 years old and you have to own a driving license.
  • In many cases there is a minimum amount of miles that need to be driven monthly (usually 200-300) and they also may ask you to park your car in places where many people will be able to see it.
  • If your vehicle gets damaged or the ad becomes deteriorated then you must report it to the company.
  • The amount of money you can make depends on a) the type of your car: if you own a truck you may be able to earn about $2,000-$3,000 per month, but in case you have a regular sized automobile, don't expect more than $700-$800. b) the size of the ad: if you decide to cover you entire automobile with advertisements you can make more. c) your driving patterns and lifestyle. d) the city you live in and its population.

You can increase your salary, if you decide to attend special events and hand out samples or brochures.

If you truly want to get paid for driving and want to avoid all the scams out there, just Click Here to find out everything there is to know about car advertising!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jim_M._Watson

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Friday, October 9, 2009

Skin Care For Men

Clinique1Image by BlueJeff via Flickr

For many men, skin care is a mere afterthought. Beyond the world of shaving their faces, it is rare for a man to devote time to his skin, especially the skin on his face. However, proper skin care is essential for the present and the future. Skin is the body's first line of defense against sickness, germs, and diseases.

Additionally, as we age, our skin loses its elastic nature. Thus, we develop wrinkles and facial lines. For these reasons alone, proper skin care is important. These tips will help you keep your skin in shape without making you spend hundreds of dollars on products that promise "miracle cures."

To begin with, men should realize that proper skin care need not take copious amounts of time. A few minutes a day is all that is necessary. Wash your facial skin with a mild soap such as Ivory. Do not use a deoderant or strong soap on your face. Use cold water to rinse.

One or two times a week, wash your face with lukewarm water and a deep cleanser such as Noxzema. Use a slightly wet washcloth, and gently work in the cleanser in a circular motion. Your pores will be cleaned out and your skin will feel better. Always pat your face dry with a clean towel. Apply a moisturizing lotion or aloe vera lotion.

Everyday elements such as such and wind can dry your skin to the point that it hurts. To prevent this, wear sunscreen when you plan to be outdoors for an extended period of time. An SPF factor of 15 should suffice. Pick a sunscreen that has aloe and moisturizers in it. After being in the sun, apply a facial moisturizer that contains vitamin E. You can also apply this any time your face feels dry.

Shaving is always rough on your face, so do it right. If you use a blade, make sure that your face is coated with a thin stream of hot water before applying shaving cream. Give the cream a few minutes to settle in. Use a sharp razor that has a double blade attached to it. Take your time. Rinse with cold water, not hot. Applying after shave cream such as Afta works better than applying liquid. If you use an electric razor, apply pre-shave lotion to enable your whiskers to stand up and keeps your shaver gliding easily across your face. It will also lessen the irritation and burn that comes with electric shaving.

Eating a balanced diet and staying active are obviously part of the equasion. Double up on the fruits and vegetables, which often contain many anti-oxidants that can retard skin damage. Take a multi-vitamin that is rich in anti-oxidants and vitamin E. Do your best to avoid greasy, fried food. Substitute olive oil in place of butter when you cook. It is healthier and, as some claim, will allow your skin to retain its elasticity longer.

Exercise will do more than simply get your heart rate going. It will clear your pores, increase your metabolism, and generally make you feel better about yourself. Sweating allows your inner body to cleanse itself.

Perhaps the easiest and best way to help your skin is to drink plenty of water on a day to day basis. The majority of your body's cells are made of water, and it only makes sense to keep hydrated. Drink at least 64 ounces of water per day. Increase your intake if you are a drinker of beverages that dehydrate you, such as coffee, soda, and alcohol. If you do drink alcohol excessively, do your best to limit your intake, as the consequences will manifest themselves in more than just bad-looking skin.

Diligent practice of the above tips will not have you looking like a cover model overnight. However, your skin will look healthier and younger, allowing you to feel better about yourself.

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Tips To Save You Money

1. Create a spending plan and set your budget goals. Create a simple, straightforward budget for the year and monitor it monthly or weekly. Each month, review your progress and revise your budget as needed.

2. Spend cash, not credit cards. Move away from credit cards and avoid going into debt, especially for daily, routine and ongoing purchases. Write checks or use automatic bill payments for bills, and withdraw enough cash or use a debit card for other expenses. Track withdrawals diligently to avoid going into overdraft.

3. Pay your bills on time. One of the best ways to save money is to remember that paying your bills on time is the most important element of building or rebuilding good credit. Keep bills in one location and check that spot weekly. Set up online payments or write due dates on a calendar to stay on track.

4. Save your money — don’t spend it! One of the best ways to save money is to plan to save 10 percent or more of your income, even if you can manage only a few dollars a week. If you get a raise, bonus, cash gift or other financial windfall, save it – or at least a portion of it.

5. Take care of your health. Money cannot buy good health, but poor health can cost a bundle. Exercise and eat well, get enough sleep and, in these stressful times, take time to pursue relaxation practices, whether that means spiritual practices, meditation, a workout or coffee with a friend.

6. Do more with less money. Take care of household maintenance, barter services or goods with friends or neighbors, and fix up old belongings rather than rushing to buy new ones. Some statistics say that people buy 30% more when shopping with a larger shopping cart — so even a small change like avoiding the store cart when possible could help you build an emergency fund.

7. Participate in a retirement plan (such as a 401K). Contribute to your company’s 401K retirement plan, especially if your employer matches contributions. If you are on your own for retirement savings, invest in an Individual IRA, Roth IRA and/or plan for self-employed persons.

8. Obtain adequate life insurance. Insurance protects against expenses you cannot cover yourself. One of the best ways to save money in the long term — and build an emergency fund — is to buy life insurance to protect your family, auto insurance to cover your car, health insurance to provide for at least major medical incidents, and home or renter’s insurance to protect possessions from theft or disaster.

9. Pay your income taxes on time. File your income tax return on or before April 15, with any tax due, to avoid penalties. At the same time, adjust withholding if needed to account for changes in income. If your refund is large, have fewer taxes withheld so you are not giving an interest-free loan to the government!

10. Get help if you need it. If you lose your job, file for unemployment quickly – and it’ll be easier to save money and achieve your financial goals. Many states have payment delays that mean filers wait weeks for a check. If you are worried that you will be unable to pay rent, mortgage or other obligations, talk to your bank or a reputable debt resolution company to learn about your options.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Describing A Man

He does not have a BEER GUT.
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER

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He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME.
He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING.
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER.
He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK.
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS.
He develops a case of RECTAL-ANAL INVERSION.

He is not a SEX MACHINE.
He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG.
He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT.
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES.
He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENT.


  1. Why do men prefer blondes?
    Men always like intellectual company.

  2. Why do men like love at first sight?
    It saves them a lot of time.

  3. A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
    Dating children.

  4. How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
    In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

  5. What should you give a man who has everything?
    A. A woman to show him how to work it.
    B. Penicillin

  6. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
    To stop the snoring before it starts.

  7. Why don't men have mid-life crises?
    They stay stuck in adolescence.

  8. How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
    He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

  9. How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
    All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

  10. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
    At the circus the clowns don't talk.

  11. Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

  12. Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
    They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.

  13. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    A.A dog is always happy to see you
    B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train

  14. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
    Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

  15. Why are blonde jokes so short?
    So men can remember them.

  16. What do you call a man with half a brain?
    Gifted.

  17. What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
    One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.

  18. What did God say after creating man?
    I can do better.

  19. Husband: Want a quickie?
    Wife: As opposed to what?

  20. Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.

  21. What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
    A man's undivided attention.

  22. How is a man like a snowstorm?
    Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.

  23. What do you call an intelligent man in America?
    A tourist.

  24. Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
    To keep them from grazing.

  25. If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
    convenience stores and drive-through windows.

  26. Why do men name their penises?
    Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

  27. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    Because they already have boyfriends.

  28. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
    He had it bronzed.

  29. Why do men like masturbation?
    Its sex with someone they love.

  30. How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
    Two ways to cross a river.

  31. What is gross stupidity?
    144 men in one room.

  32. Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
    Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

  33. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
    The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

  34. How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
    Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.

  35. What is a man's view of safe sex?
    A padded headboard.

  36. How do men sort their laundry?
    "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

  37. Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

  38. Why did God create man?
    Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

  39. Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
    A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
    B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.

  40. Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
    To keep the swelling down.

  41. What is the thinnest book in the world?
    "What men know about women."

  42. How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
    A.One - men will screw anything.
    B.One - men will screw up anything.
    C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it

  43. How does a man take a bubble bath?
    He eats beans for dinner.

  44. What is a man's idea of foreplay?
    A half hour of begging.

  45. How can you tell if a man is aroused?
    He's breathing.

  46. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
    Bonds mature.

  47. How do you save a man from drowning?
    Take your foot off his head.

  48. What do men and beer have in common?
    They're both empty from the neck up.

  49. How can you tell if a man is happy?
    Who cares?

  50. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    Who knows? - did it ever happen??

  51. How are men and parking spots alike?
    The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.

  52. What is a man's idea of doing housework?
    Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

  53. What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
    E.T. phoned home.

  54. What does a man consider a seven course meal?
    A hot dog and a six pack.

  55. Do you know why bankers are good lovers?
    They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.

  56. Why are men like laxatives?
    They can irritate the shit out of you.

  57. Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
    So oxygen can get into their brains

  58. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
    Put the remote control between his toes

  59. Why is it good that there are women astronauts?
    So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions

  60. How do men exercise on the beach?
    By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini

  61. Why do men like blonde jokes so much?
    Because they can understand them

  62. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
    1. No mind.
    2. No business.

  63. Why is a woman different from a PC?
    A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy

  64. Why is a man different from a PC?
    You only have to tell the PC once

  65. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
    Exchange him.

  66. Why do bachelors like smart women?
    Opposites Attract.

  67. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

  68. Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
    To knock the penises off the smart ones.

  69. What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
    The man.

  70. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
    When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

  71. What do you call a handcuffed man?
    Trustworthy.

  72. What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
    Men always miss them.

  73. Why are men like commercials?
    You can't believe a word they say.

  74. Why are men like blenders?
    You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

  75. Why do so many women fake orgasm?
    Because so many men fake foreplay.




Monday, October 5, 2009

Get Fit At Home

Chas. Watson (LOC)Image by The Library of Congress via Flickr

If you're looking for home workout routine you've come to the right place! If you'd like to workout at home but don't know where to start, keep reading.
Many people are turning to "at home workouts" these days. This is due to many factors, but often it will be the time factor or the money factor (expensive, recurring gym membership). If you intend to start a working out at home, you can make it as easy or as hard as you like. Apart from these reasons, one of my favorite parts of a home workout routine is that I can listen to my favorite music!
Planning
You can make your home workout routine easier by doing the following:
• Create a goal. Make a long term goal then a series of short term goals that work towards the long term goal. Give these goals dates.
• Based on your goals, create a workout schedule and stick to it. This should outline the days you set aside for working out and your days off.
• Only exercise 2 or 3 muscles groups each day. For example, do chest and shoulders one day, legs and back another day, then arms and abs the next. Some people like to do abs at the end of every workout.
• Play your favorite music - and turn it up! This is one of my favorites. It can really help to keep me motivated and focused.
• If you plan to use fitness equipment, make sure it's good quality.
• If possible, delegate a room for doing workouts. This room should be well ventilated preferably with a window. Place a large mirror so that you can check your form (and see your bulging muscles!).
Exercises
If you have a fully blown home gym, you will have more options with regards to the exercises you perform. However, if you don't, there are still many exercises you can perform, either by modifying the exercise slightly, or by using assistance from a bench, exercise ball, wall or other object. If you're serious about your home workouts, you really need at least some basic fitness equipment. The following exercises have minimal requirements in this regard. You will only need a solid bench and at least one set of dumbbells.
Note that if your aim is for strength or muscle size, you really need a full set of weights so that you can progressively increase your weights over time.
Where there are more than 3 exercises, choose 2 or 3 for each muscle group that you're exercising that day. Every now and then, for some variation, swap one exercise for another. Variation is great in any workout routine.
Abs
• Trunk Twists - 1 set of 100 reps
• Crunches - 3 sets of 25 reps
• Oblique Crunches (or twist crunches) - 3 sets of 25 reps
• Knee Ups - 3 sets of 25 reps
Chest
• Wide Arm Press Ups - 3 sets of 20
• Bench Press - 3 sets of 12 (requires dumbells and a bench)
• Dumbell Flies - 3 sets of 12 (requires dumbells and a bench)
Shoulders
These exercises require weights. If you don't have any weights, don't worry because you will actually get a pretty good shoulder workout when you do the chest exercises - especially the press ups).
• Upright Rows - 3 sets of 12 (requires barbell or dumbells)
• Dumbell Shoulder Press - 3 sets of 12 (requires dumbells)
• Lateral Raise - 3 sets of 12 (requires dumbell)
Biceps
• Standing Bicep Curls - 3 sets of 12 (requires dumbells)
• Concentration Curls - 3 sets of 12 (requires dumbells)
• Hammer Curls - 3 sets of 12 (requires dumbells)
Triceps
• Parallel Bar Dips - 3 sets of 12 (requires parallel bar or similar)
• Narrow Arm Press Ups - 3 sets of 12
• Dumbell Triceps Extensions - 3 sets of 12 (requires dumbell)
Legs
Lunges and squats are also great for the buttocks.
• Lunges - 3 sets of 12 (you can do these holding dumbells at your sides if you wish)
• Squats - 3 sets of 12 (squats are normally performed with a barbell on your back but you can do these holding dumbells at your sides - "dumbell squats")
• Front Leg Raises - 3 sets of 12 (if you find these too easy try using ankle weights)
• Calf Raises - 3 sets of 12
Note: If your aim is for strength or muscle size, decrease the reps to between 6 - 8 (except for the Ab exercises - keep them the same, but add resistance).
http://www.great-workout.com/home-workout-routine.cfm
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Friday, October 2, 2009

I Need a Haircut CutImage by Patrick Q via Flickr

Stating that the average guy approaches his hair as an afterthought is a gross generalization -- perhaps even a mistake. According to Fernando, the artistic director at Le Pascha Men’s Grooming Center in Montreal, Quebec, men are spending more time in the salon and asking a lot more questions.

This behavior isn’t anything new; you’ve probably discovered it for yourself the last time you tried slipping into a smart-looking suit and realized that something still wasn’t quite right -- it’s your hairstyle.

Whether you’re in desperate need of a major overhaul or simply looking for a seasonal change, AM sat down with Fernando and did a little bit of the homework for you. Here we present the 2009 hairstyles for men that will let your crown shine in all its glory.

Side Part

You would be hard-pressed not to find this 'do featured in any major Italian fashion house’s ad campaign. Guys from Adam Senn to George Clooney have shown us that, when it comes to a classic side part, age is nothing but a number. This versatile hairstyle can work on a classy businessman by day and reads debonair by night. The side part is not only making a strong statement this season, it’s also democratic. Fernando explains that, “it’s ideal for most head and face shapes…and the lengths can be short or long.” To achieve the look, he advises to use a high gloss shine or pomade.

Long Part

For guys sporting longer locks who don’t feel like a radical change, consider the side part’s longer version. Young men like Jared Leto exemplify the key characteristics of this cut: The parted side will hang over the opposite side extending to the ears, while the overall length usually hits at the collar. Fernando notes that, “there is less of a shiny finish to this look…defining creams are the products used to create and encourage movement to the desired direction of the part.” The cut also requires that the right amount of weight be removed from your hair. A word of caution: This cut is best suited for the collegiate or young professional who is artistically inclined.

Short Fronts

The loss of hair is a nearly universal problem for men; how you choose to deal with it, however, is another matter. Guys often look their best when they appear natural, but opting for some unconvincing, unflattering cover-up to a receding hair line doesn’t exactly make the cut. According to Fernando, fronts (aka bangs) are kept short this year and give the illusion that the man’s hair line is not receding. “Most people make the mistake of keeping fronts too long,” Fernando says, “It just makes the receding areas more visible. So cut off those fronts for a masculine look.”

This masculine look can be seen on actor Chris Pine who also shows us that this 2009 men’s hairstyle can work in both a formal and casual context.

Buzz Cut
The truth is, most guys want a low-maintenance hairstyle that has them looking good around the clock. The buzz cut -- the first wash-and-wear style -- is perhaps the closet thing to that. Shown on Idris Elba, it’s the quintessential hyper-masculine cut that emphasizes the strength -- or lack of -- in your face, so choose wisely. The result is a man who exudes confidence and is comfortable in his own skin. Fernando comments that, “the buzz cut is essential when the scalp is visible and starts to look like there is a doughnut on top of your head.” If you’re going for the buzz, be sure to slot in regular trims to keep it looking clean.

Textured Top

How many times have you asked for a hairstyle that was short on the sides and in the back, with the length kept a bit longer on the top? Well, you’re not alone. Fernando explains that this style accounts for approximately 50% of the looks requested from his clientele and, good news, it's here for a little while longer. Pictured here on James Franco, note the textured top which has been finger-combed to achieve this popular look.

The Final Cut

Calling a man who shows interest in his hair or, more generally speaking, takes pride in his appearance “metrosexual” is somewhat dated. In 2009 it’s simply common sense. However, the idea of a man trying too hard in the grooming department doesn’t seem to work either. According to Fernando, when negotiating which styles are right for you, be sure to consider variables such as the shape of your face, your lifestyle and the level of maintenance involved. Ultimately, you want a hairstyle that looks natural, flattering and modern.

So the next time you venture off to your hair dresser, consider these 2009 men’s hairstyles as a guide to getting it right and you won’t have to waste any more time scratching your head over it.

Fernando is the artistic director at Le Pascha Men’s Grooming Center in Montreal, Quebec.
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